Saturday, May 30, 2015

Crazy train

Hey guys.

I know it's been months, and I'm sorry. Life is crazy insane lately. LittleMiss is a maelstrom of energy and she keeps me hopping until everyone else gets home in the evening. I can (slowly) scroll through facebook and share a quick post, but anything more coherent is tough to manage. Three year olds are a blast, but they're EXHAUSTING and keeping on constant vigilance isn't helping. Turn your back and something is dismantled/destroyed/scattered everywhere/sticky. This was a lot easier in my 20's, I tell ya!

Otherwise, stuff is mostly excellent. My weight is up, but my diet's been pretty good, so I'm blaming it on stress, hormones, and the weather finally warming up. I always bloat up when it starts to get hot, just like my mom. I've been walking the town almost every night - walked six of the last seven evenings - and my usual route is 1.54 km. I did a 2.2 km walk last weekend - I was feeling energetic since Bill had been home to help munchkin wrangle,  but maaaaan, my calves paid for it later! - and need to up the distance at least a little. Make some progress. I do 1k in 13 minutes 15 seconds, pretty consistently (within 3 seconds, either way), so maybe I should up the pace a little, too. I told Bill I want to do a 5k again this fall, so I'd better get on upping the workout.

SPORE's officially out in a couple of days and I'm trying not to stress. I usually get really upset and scared and angsty, at least I did with the Dubric books, but that's not happening, thank goodness! I am, however, fretting over how well it's selling, how well it's reviewing, did I do enough, that kind of thing. I am assuming that's a lot more normal reaction to a book launch than my previous suicidal contemplations, vomiting, and weeping. I asked my events coordinator - she's easier to get ahold of than the marketing department - about it's pre-release order numbers, but she hasn't been able to find any data yet. I certainly hope it's more than the six or eight people I know have ordered. We really could use the money. I have four public events scheduled for June and July so far - ComicCon Des Moines, a book signing at Barnes and Noble (it's the same day as ComicCon, I'm renting a car and Bill's taking a vacation day), a book fair in Fort Dodge (Munchkin is at her dad's and the truck's available for the short drive), and an artists' talk/event/launch party/thing in Cedar Rapids (Munchkin at her dad's again and the car's available for the long drive). I was invited to do HorrorHound in Indianapolis but declined because I just can't swing the logistics of babysitting, a vehicle to drive, etc. Someone - maybe everyone - has to take time off work to watch LittleMiss and I need a dependable vehicle. One day is one thing, several days is something else. And that's not even counting travel, hotel, and food costs. Ah well. The current block of real life and online events will help with sales, I hope.

Morgan is still out and about seeking a publisher, plus I'm (well my agent's) in the midst of negotiating a GhoulBane graphic novel script. I'm hopeful that Dubric can go graphic, if this works out well for everyone involved. Keeping my fingers crossed. Other than the GhoulBane stuff, I haven't written any fiction at all for about 6 weeks now, which is highly distressing.

I've also become extremely forgetful. I hope it's just stress and not my age, and that my memory and focus will come back. I miss them. They've always kept me on top of things even when life was crazy. Now I'm showing up at wrong times for appointments, losing track of how much money's in checking (I ALWAYS know how much we have in checking, usually to the penny but at least within change from a dollar) what's cooking and when it'll be done (I'm burning things. I never burn things. Or I forget to turn the oven or crockpot on). Stuff like that. I almost paid a bill late which I haven't done for almost 30 years. It's rather distressing.

It's stress and exhaustion, right? Gah, I hope so.

Maybe stuff isn't 'mostly excellent' after all. {{hugs}} and have a great week!

improvement

I feel like things have changed drastically and not at all. While my days look a lot different than they did two months ago, they still all look more or less the same. The good news is I'm writing a little more regularly. I think I'm finding a rhythm, especially since I gave myself permission to write on Sundays. I've been trying to do that sabbath better, and last month I heard someone say the sabbath is supposed to be about worship and joy. Writing is kind of both to me, so I've made it a point to write Saturday and Sunday the last couple of weeks, and it's made a difference. I don't feel so pressured on Monday morning because I'm picking up where I left off. I'm least likely to write on Wednesday and Thursday now because those are my back to back days at work.

Speaking of work, I've learned to close, and while I haven't done it on my own yet, I feel like I have a better handle on it. I'll get some practice this week. Next weekend is prom for some of our kids, so I've got a couple of extra shifts. They're both evening, so it won't interfere with writing time.

That's really about it lately. I'm starting to feel more human when I leave work. I've taken to leaving a cup of coffee in the coffee pot when I leave for work so I can drink it when I get home. Eric gets home before me, so he's usually got dinner well in hand by the time I get here, assuming we've remembered to thaw something.

Hope y'all are having a good week.

Turning the Corner

Well, it's been a rough month or so as I've adjusted to new meds for my diabetes and other conditions, but I think I've finally turned the corner ... or at least can see the corner ahead of me. I've had a couple of days where I felt more like "me" if that makes sense.

I've been making To-Do lists the past four days, and that has really helped both my mood and productivity. Checking those items off gives me a little kick to keep moving. I'm using Remember The Milk to make my lists, and so far, I really like it. I do print my lists because I'm often not at the computer during the day. Besides, making a check showing an item is finished is more enjoyable than clicking a button with my trackball.

One of my new diabetes meds is Farxiga™. It's that one where your kidneys pass sugar out in your urine. Sorry, should I have warned you that was going to be a medical moment? In the Farxiga™ commercial, it shows people dancing. That's because they need to pee and are rushing to the bathroom! The first week or so was rough, but slowly your body adapts to it, and the ... ah ... dancing is less urgent. Be sure, however, to take it in the morning! You don't want to take it at night; otherwise, you'll get no sleep. The drug is working, too. My blood sugar is going down; it's not a cure-all, of course. I still have to watch my diet. No ice cream sundaes, dang it!

We have received an incredible amount of rain here. We've been under a flash flood warning for days. It's enough to drown Noah. But the forecast says a couple more days of light rain/cloudy skies, then it will be sun. I hope it doesn't burn our skin; it's been so long since we've seen the sun that the townsfolk are getting that pale frog-underbelly look.

Tonight, the Boy Scout troop at my roomie's church is having a spaghetti dinner to raise funds for Summer Camp. I will be going, I think. It's a good cause, and it's only $5 for a complete meal. I hope it doesn't rain. Any type of grumpy weather, and people stay home. They're hoping 200 people will show up. They need that many to show up.

This coming week, I will be:
- Working on the family newsletter.
- Working on Undying: Men, Myth & Monsters.
- Working on "Last Ride Out of Ryton," the next short story I'm putting up for Kindle.
- Household chores.
- Appointments with doctors on Wednesday and Thursday.

And that will be a full week and then some. Hope you have a great creative week!

Monday, May 25, 2015

Mentally Out of It

Physically, I'm doing great. The knee is right on target for it's recovery.  The incision looks good. I get a kick out of the random aches, pains, and prickles that my Bonesmart group assures me are all normal.  Just yesterday, I experienced some sharp prickles under the skin, which tells me some more nerves are reconnecting.  All the steri-strips are off. I'm walking pretty well. If I take the time to concentrate, I can do stairs "the right way." Most of the time, I don't, because it's tiring, but I try to do a few each day, and I can feel some strength returning.

I'm doing short duration housework tasks -- dishes, laundry, litter boxes, segments of outdoor work but nowhere near the whole task. No problems with personal care. I'm getting better about handing the drive to Temple and back. Well, I haven't actually made the drive yet, but I can do the ride in the front seat. I take my cane with me, and I use it when I'm out and about, but it's "just in case." I will have to make the drive on Thursday, because Mr. L will be in San Antonio for a week and a half.

My challenge comes with intellectual tasks. I can do light reading. I cannot pull together any writing work yet. Even blog posts are eluding me, and I usually find them pretty easy to put out there. I've been assured this is normal.

I fired up the Mac Mini earlier this week thinking I just needed to sit at a desk and try to get some work done, but it died almost immediately after I fired it up. I think it's the power supply, and that thing is so old, even the Apple Store didn't have a power supply for it when I took it in last year to get Lion loaded on it. So I whipped out my Armed Forces Communications-Electronics Association  discount (thanks to Valerie if she's reading for inadvertently reminding me I had this) access to the Apple Web Site and saved $315 on the Retina iMac. It should be here late in the week.

The scooter Mr. L thought I needed arrived this week, and it should do the job. I know Stephen is disappointed it doesn't have flames and a pirate flag, but I'm happy to have interchangeable red and blue panels. For the record, Drive Medical makes good quality equipment for a reasonable price. That's been my experience with the tub grab bar, the shower stool, and the scooter.

We're still getting lots of rain. I'm not thrilled about the flooding, but I know when the rain stops, the heat sets in and will not leave. I don't like that, so I'm not complaining about the rain. I haven't heard God's voice from the heavens telling me to build an ark, so I'm either one of the damned, or He isn't planning on drowning me yet. Either that, or I need to be paying closer attention to the thunder.

I never heard back on pain management strategies from my doctor's office, but I added one Aleve to my two bedtime Tylenol, and I've been fine. I even forgot to take my afternoon Tylenol one day this week (I don't recommend this yet).  Outpatient PT was underwhelming, but at least I'm comfortable that we're going to have compatible philosophies.

No progress on PBOTL, presumably because of the intellectual fog mentioned above.

The Week Ahead:
  • Continue gradual physical improvement process
  • See if I can find a way to gauge mental acuity improvement

Monday, May 18, 2015

chugging along

There hasn't been much to report lately. Same old thing--work, write, sleep, chores. Nothing very exciting. We have had some interesting customers in. There was one teenage Asian boy today with fake Bozo red hair who asked if he could have a spoon. I said no, he had to eat it with his hands, and he looked at me blankly for a second before he laughed and took a spoon. Then there was the little boy in last week with a group of moms and kids who managed to reach down a large yogurt bowl and put it on his head. He and his little friends were giggling about his bowl head. One of his friends, not to be outdone, took one bowl in each hand and put them over his ears, Princess Leia style. I must be a grandma-in-training because it was adorable. I think my body must be adjusting to the job. I'm not exhausted and drooling when I get home anymore. I'm not ready to go out dancing, of course, but it's a lot better than it was. I bought thick hiking socks from Eddie Bauer a couple weeks ago, too. They're expensive and worth every penny.

We did the Springfield Games last weekend. I got sunburned, of course. We leaned the "Story Telling On Request" sign against the tent leg and I had several people come by and ask, which made me happy. I sold one copy of BSF, and we went to dinner with a couple who are going to Scotland with us. Jenn split her time between us and photographing the StL dancers who were there competing, which was great. I e-mailed her last week and told her Walter the Muse wants a new dragon story, and now she talks about Walter like he's a physical person. She wants me to find a Walter model for a photo shoot. That makes three different ones we want to do, not counting the new author photos I should have now that my hair is long.

Eric started his permanent job today. He Facetimed (that's an iPhone video call, Stephen) me from work. His view is amazing. He's right on the river, across from the opera house. My commute is still better. :-)

I need to figure out a blogging schedule, maybe devote one day a month to blog posts and schedule them. I've been blogging on Mondays for a long time, but I forget and then I go to work, and when I get home I don't have the brain power to do it. I'm holding out hope that I'll continue to get more functional, but in the meantime I need to do something differently.

So I think that's about it. Jean, I'm glad to hear your knee is healing properly. What's going on with you, Stephen? And we haven't heard from Tammy in eons! Have a good week.

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Moving Along

Yesterday's adventure may have been just a little too much. I think the long drive got to me the most, because I didn't do any more walking than usual. Only 3800 steps, and I've done a similar number of steps on other days without discomfort.

Outpatient PT begins on Tuesday. I'm concerned Tylenol alone may not be enough of a pain reliever. It seems to just barely be doing the job. I may stop in at the clinic either before or after PT on Tuesday to discuss other pain relief options with my surgeon's nursing staff and see about getting a prescription for something like Tramadol to get me through these next few weeks. Technically,  can still take two more extra strength Tylenol a day, but I'm not comfortable maxing out the dosage on that given the potential for liver damage.

Sneaky is happy to be back outside. I felt bad opening the door to the porch while it was raining outside, but she happily strolled out. I'll need to capture her briefly Tuesday morning to get swabs from her ears to get checked.

An ultrasound of Tarzan's bladder showed some cause for concern, so he's been on pain relievers and antibiotics here at the house, and Dr. Val is doing a course of four injections of hyaluronic acid, which she's had some success with in blocked kitties. It's been known to soothe the bladder lining. It's hard to gauge, but Tarzan seems to be feeling better. Dr. Val asked if I could pill him, and I said, "Sure." before realizing I'd never had to pill him before. Mild-mannered chicken cat Tarzan resists pilling and administration of antibiotics like a wildman!  I have to wrap him in a towel and hold him very firmly and even at that, I've wound up wearing nearly as much of the anti-biotic as I've gotten into him. He goes back for his second shot on Tuesday. Dr. Val will check progress with her trusty ultrasound machine. I'm amazed at what a useful diagnostic tool the ultrasound seems to be.

I've been sleeping upstairs all week, and I've very much enjoyed that. Delta, The Brick, has been amazingly respectful of my leg space, choosing to stretch out beside my leg, leaving me plenty of room for a change. It's been sad not having Natasha there. Tarzan seems to be trying to make up for her not being there.

I managed one PACTS sentence for Polar Bear on the Loose. I want to get back to work on it, and I'm finally feeling as if I might be ready to concentrate long enough to do something.

The Week Ahead:
  • Check on pain management strategies with my doctor's office
  • Begin outpatient PT
  • Make progress on PBOTL
  • Pull together plans for where to go from here.

Saturday, May 9, 2015

Post Surgical Blues Are A Thing

Yes. They hit today. I have some legitimate things contributing to this, but the BoneSmart site talks about this. People get the blues during post-op recovery. I had a little bout with them this afternoon.

Am I a good enough daughter or wife? I miss my Natasha. Death comes at you hard. (A good friend lost his wife yesterday after a brief, intense illness.) Some of these things flit through your mind now and again -- or they do mine. Usually, I can deal with it. It's a good time to briefly assess if I need to make any changes to make sure I'm living my life as best I can. It's usually not grounds for a melt down. Mr. L handled it well. (He has been surprisingly marvelous in ways that matter during all this.)

Doctor visit went well on Friday. The staples came out. I've decided to shift from prescription meds to Tylenol. I still have plenty of Hydrocodone if this turns out to be a bad idea, but I want to drive again, and I can't while I'm taking that. So far, so good. Prior to surgery, I was taking 4 Extra Strength Acetaminophen a day. For now, I'm taking 6. That's the max dose, so I'll want to back off that in a few weeks if not sooner.

I'm mostly walking with a cane. If more walking is likely to be required, I take crutches. Right before the surgery, I was using those electric carts most stores offer as a courtesy. I haven't felt the need so far, but I haven't done much shopping either. I should be discharged from home health therapy either on Monday or Wednesday, and I'm preparing to start outpatient physical therapy, which is likely to be much more intense, so I may need to switch back to stronger meds for a bit. We'll see how that goes.

Rest, ice, and elevation. I'm planning to try sleeping upstairs next week and just using the chair for daytime rest, icing, and elevation. If that doesn't work, Mr. L will set up a cot down here for me until I'm able to spend the night in the bed.

The week ahead:

  • Begin outpatient PT
  • Keep pain managed
  • Get Sneaky in for annual exam and shots and get Tarzan checked out
  • Begin transitioning going upstairs for bed at night

Monday, May 4, 2015

Big thing

Well, maybe a big thing will happen over the next couple of weeks. Will have to tell you about it in Hangouts. But if it works out, it will be a huge burden off me.

Tomorrow, or really today, I will go to the diabetes doctor. Should be an interesting visit. We're going to change meds. I'm hoping the new med I want will really make a difference in my blood sugar numbers. They've been inching up, and it's time to stop that.

My back is still hurting me. Some days better, some days almost crippling. Overall, I think it's getting better.

I helped Kent get one of his stories up on Amazon. It went really fast. I think I have a handle on that now. Been working on a checklist for me to use when formatting and uploading a story. Just so I won't forget anything.

This week:
- Doctor
- Continue to work on the big thing (which is not publishing or writing, but a personal project that might be a solution to a problem I've struggled with for years).
- Try to start walking. Need to exercise.
- Household chores.
- Finish "Last Ride Out of Ryton" and put up for Kindle.
- Finish April family newsletter.
- And a few other odds and ends.

Hope you have a good week!

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Survive and Thrive. Nap Time!

As you know, I survived the surgery just fine. The knee is doing great. I'm very pleased.

You also know we lost Natasha, my beloved kitty. Yes, we still have seven indoor kitties that need my attention. Mr. L even carried Sneaky in to say hello the day I came home and got settled into my chair. Today, I sat on the side porch steps and coaxed Junior to eat from the bowl beside me.

In home physical therapy is going well. My knee is a little ahead of schedule on recovery but not by leaps and bounds. My surgeon encouraged me to get off the OxyContin as soon as possible, so instead of a morning and evening dose, I've just been taking an evening dose (except for this morning when I forgot and took it). I'm not sure how necessary the Hydrocodone is every six hours, but I take it religiously. The idea being, to prevent pain from emerging to keep it manageable.  I have my first follow-up appointment this Friday, and I'm sure we'll discuss the next step, because I need to be off the narcotics before I can drive, and it would be nice be able to hold a thought for more than a minute or two at a time.

I'm sleeping a lot. Despite not pitching in for a lot of household chores like I'd hoped, Mr. L has been most attentive in other, more important ways. I was lamenting the unexpected loss of Natasha in another forum, and I was reminded how fortunate it was that I hadn't lost Mr. L instead. What a sobering thought that was. By doing the dishes and laundry, I work in short increments, and it helps make sure I do get up and get moving for short bursts, which is helpful to my recovery.  Besides, if i were alone, like I was for my last surgeries, I'd be doing it all myself anyway.

While Mr. L was mowing today, I retrieved the hedge nippers from the shed and began trimming the hedge by the street. I could feel my energy being visibly sapped. I've been napping for the rest of the afternoon, trying to regain my strength, and I'm still feeling wiped out.

The Week Ahead:
  • Sleep
  • Physical Therapy
  • Follow-up Visit with surgeon (most likely staples will be removed)
  • Try to form a coherent thought


Let the Games begin

I had a storytelling gig yesterday. It looks right now like it will be the only paid gig of the year. I'm telling stories at the Springfield Games in two weeks, but they're strapped for cash, so we bartered clan space and food. I haven't heard anything from Chicago yet, despite talking to the coordinator and giving him my business card. I know it's all volunteer work, and it's labor intensive. I've been on a Games board so I know what goes on. But it seems like the IL Games are all suffering from Don't Give A Crap syndrome lately. In fact, I have it on good authority that MO is infected, too. At this rate, all the small Games will die out within a decade, and we'll all have to travel to NC to go to one. Grandfather Mountain is the Mecca of Highland Games, so that one is probably safe.

Huh. There's a guy on the corner doing squats, push-ups and calf raises. 10 squats, walk around a little, ten push-ups, walk around, 12 calf raises. He's on his third round. Seems like there are better places to work out than on a sidewalk, but I guess he's getting more exercise than I am right now. I wonder if he knows his hands are a little too far back on those push-ups? The things we see around here.

Job is going well. I got words in last week. I'm working on getting a menu together so I can go to the commissary on Tuesday. We might have good news on Eric's job soon. I'll jump over to Hangouts as soon as I know anything. I think that's about it.