False starts

I keep starting this post. Each time the direction seemed wrong. Didn't seem to be what I needed to say. Deleted each false start. So I'm simply sharing my struggle and inability to know what to write. It feels like there's something profound to say, but the words are wandering around the huge warehouse of my mind, hiding behind stacks of nouns and pallets of verbs.

I wrote this several days back on my blog:

Somewhere inside me ... sometimes I feel that there is something inside me that wants out. It's fighting for freedom. It's trying to claw its way into the light. It's tearing away vast chucks of me, and I'm bleeding everywhere. Whatever it is, it's frantic. It's gasping for breath. It wants to leap into the sky, but it's held back, wings crippled, head forced down. It's fighting for that glimpse of blue, that vastness which lies beyond what we're allowed to see. 

It still feels true.

Speaking of my blog, 51313 Harbor Street, I caught it up. It now has a post for every day since July 1. My goal is to post once day for a year. Or at least have a post for each day for a year. Not sure why. But it's a goal, you know.

Otherwise, this week was a week of doctors and tests. No results yet. Hoped to get them today, but probably won't until Monday or Tuesday. Hoping for the best. Or at least better. I would love to be taking fewer meds.

What else?

Hope to start Murder by the Mile again soon. Been picking at the plot, trying to see where it went wrong. I have some thoughts about how to change it to accommodate a better story. I hope they bear fruit.

This coming week:
- Chores.
- Blogging.
- Editing a friend's story.
- Writing.

Hope you had a productive week, and hope the upcoming one is good for us all.