The house we built in 2004 is no longer ours. At least, as far as I know. The buyers were supposed to close yesterday at 10:30, and I think we would have heard if there was a problem. Regardless of what happened on their end, we locked all our keys inside Sunday and noon and drove away. No tears. No regrets. Only a vague sense of bittersweet that was swept aside by lunch with the kids and replaced with relief. It's been a long road and it hasn't quite sunk in that the worst is over. We still have storage to deal with down there, but we're hiring that out, and not before late March.
I also feel like it's time to start thinking about leaving the day job. I'm not going to just put in notice. I told one of the owners I wasn't going anywhere until they could manage without me, and they can't. But it's time to whip things into shape. I need to hire some new staff, so I'll be on the look out for my replacement. Of course I'm not saying anything at work or to the general public about that.
In tandem with that, I'm going to look more actively for places that pay for submissions and start the Kindle/indie pubbing learning curve. I want that well under way before my last day at the fro yo shop.
If nothing else, the last couple of years have challenged my ideas of what success is. The world measures it with net worth. On paper, I'm a loser. I left the full-time work force in 1998 and haven't broken 20k since. Most years I don't break 10k. I move from one entry-level job to the next. Of course, that doesn't take into account the years I spent homeschooling and managing my household. I guess I'm a vestige of a past era--the housewife who only works when times get hard. I'm still not entirely sure what success means for me. I count my kids as my greatest success, of course. We couldn't have gotten the house together so quickly without them. Surely that's not all I have to offer, though.
Maybe today, when I'm bored at work, I'll flesh out my game plan. Or a short story. Maybe it will be slow enough for both.
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Sunday, February 7, 2016
Cultivate your garden
I had a busy three days last week. Felt ill the first part of the week, but better on Thursday and worked around house, catching up on many chores that I was behind on. And so now I face another week that I must fill with things.
I'm going to try to fill it with writing. Chores, of course. A couple of appointments. But writing. I need to write. To define me again. To move forward. To embrace what's ahead of me and to keep the best of what's behind me.
Throwing the baby out with the bathwater has always been the mark of an immature person. To not realize the good things you have while grabbing for what you think is better.... Does this make any sense?
Hucksters abound on the Net these days. They offer to sell the tips and secrets of an abundant life, a million dollars, perfect health, a glorious life where you rule the world. Maybe they hold sacred knowledge imparted from past gurus and mysterious cabals. I don't know. I can't judge. If what they say works for you...if it makes you happier, if it helps you grow, then go forth and conquer.
But...I have this suspicion that none of that can take place until you take the first step...until you decide to move forward. And then it takes work. Work, work, work.... I've not reached the point that Voltaire did in Candide, ou l'Optimisme where work is the only thing that makes life bearable, but I have reached the point where I don't believe in the free lunch, in the lie that we are owed anything by anyone, in the fear of the unknown in favor of the known present.
As Candide said at the end, "We must cultivate our garden." Wisdom in that, don't you think?
Have a good week in your garden of life.
I'm going to try to fill it with writing. Chores, of course. A couple of appointments. But writing. I need to write. To define me again. To move forward. To embrace what's ahead of me and to keep the best of what's behind me.
Throwing the baby out with the bathwater has always been the mark of an immature person. To not realize the good things you have while grabbing for what you think is better.... Does this make any sense?
Hucksters abound on the Net these days. They offer to sell the tips and secrets of an abundant life, a million dollars, perfect health, a glorious life where you rule the world. Maybe they hold sacred knowledge imparted from past gurus and mysterious cabals. I don't know. I can't judge. If what they say works for you...if it makes you happier, if it helps you grow, then go forth and conquer.
But...I have this suspicion that none of that can take place until you take the first step...until you decide to move forward. And then it takes work. Work, work, work.... I've not reached the point that Voltaire did in Candide, ou l'Optimisme where work is the only thing that makes life bearable, but I have reached the point where I don't believe in the free lunch, in the lie that we are owed anything by anyone, in the fear of the unknown in favor of the known present.
As Candide said at the end, "We must cultivate our garden." Wisdom in that, don't you think?
Have a good week in your garden of life.
Decluttering Progress
I'm seeing more and more of the parlor. I've broken it down into tasks and have used a week at a time on my Service card to begin knocking those tasks out. I pulled the filing out this week and got it taken care of for 2015. As I clear each area, I strive to keep it from getting cluttered again (the work table and desk will be more challenging).
I printed tax forms and pertinent instruction pages. Mr. L is already planning for the Hershey trip, but at least he involved me in the planning stages this year. He's done that in the past, but I felt like he was more interested in what I had to say this year.
Sapphire seems resigned to submitting to being petted before I let her out of the cage in the morning. She's been easier to catch to put back in at night for the last two nights. I want her out of the cage during the day, because she plays, interacts with the other cats, and has an opportunity to choose to interact with us. She's interested, but still fearful.
Sneaky is still fending off unwelcome interest from Ajax and sometimes Daphne. Lady has kept her distance, but we watch carefully to ensure all three of them don't gang up on her. She has ventured upstairs, but she spends most of her time downstairs.
I have 854 words on Carmen's story (no idea about a title yet). It's probably not a good idea to have my person with the secret being the POV character. Sigh.
Health issues are running rampant among my friends. A friend's wife succumbed to melanoma which had spread to her internal organs earlier this week. Another online friend wasn't expected to live, then pulled through and is now in rehab. Several other friends have concerns, and, of course, Mr. L's ongoing issues which are not completely resolved even though he is somewhat better.
I've completed the most important aspects of Central Texas winter yardwork. The perimeter hedges are trimmed and pruned. I took care of the side yard island today. I'll begin chipping away at the front yard island this week. It's really overgrown, because I haven't been able to work on it for at least the last two years.
The week ahead:
I printed tax forms and pertinent instruction pages. Mr. L is already planning for the Hershey trip, but at least he involved me in the planning stages this year. He's done that in the past, but I felt like he was more interested in what I had to say this year.
Sapphire seems resigned to submitting to being petted before I let her out of the cage in the morning. She's been easier to catch to put back in at night for the last two nights. I want her out of the cage during the day, because she plays, interacts with the other cats, and has an opportunity to choose to interact with us. She's interested, but still fearful.
Sneaky is still fending off unwelcome interest from Ajax and sometimes Daphne. Lady has kept her distance, but we watch carefully to ensure all three of them don't gang up on her. She has ventured upstairs, but she spends most of her time downstairs.
I have 854 words on Carmen's story (no idea about a title yet). It's probably not a good idea to have my person with the secret being the POV character. Sigh.
Health issues are running rampant among my friends. A friend's wife succumbed to melanoma which had spread to her internal organs earlier this week. Another online friend wasn't expected to live, then pulled through and is now in rehab. Several other friends have concerns, and, of course, Mr. L's ongoing issues which are not completely resolved even though he is somewhat better.
I've completed the most important aspects of Central Texas winter yardwork. The perimeter hedges are trimmed and pruned. I took care of the side yard island today. I'll begin chipping away at the front yard island this week. It's really overgrown, because I haven't been able to work on it for at least the last two years.
The week ahead:
- Lady and Tarzan are due for annual exams and shots.
- Mr. L wants to go to Temple this week, so that will probably be on Wednesday
- Work on the front yard island
- Crunch aluminum cans