Insanity

There are people you can't help. It always takes me some time to realize this. It feels like giving up, but when you give suggestion after suggestion and offer help time after time, but the other person always has some reason  that the suggestions won't work and refuses the help because he/she knows -- KNOWS -- the change won't work ... Eventually even I have to realize that person is a shining example of a particular insanity: "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results."

For some people, venting their displeasure with their way of life is their way of life. They don't want people to point out possibilities. They want confirmation that their failures are unavoidable, that they couldn't do better. Perhaps they do this because then they can believe they're blameless.

One thing I've always done is shoulder my failures. Admittedly, I have taken on burdens that didn't belong to me -- the wisdom to know the difference is something I still struggle with -- but at least I know that my losses are my own work. I don't try to blame my parents or the church or God or my friends or anyone else for my mistakes.

And frankly, I can live with my failures. (Obviously.) I'm surviving, making my way, the government isn't supporting me --although I'm going to work on that soon -- this is my world. For all my problems -- health, financial, spiritual, mental, etc. -- I'm still here. Still working. Still getting out of bed each day.

Perhaps I'm just as insane as the people who choose to wallow in their safe, comfortable mud. But it doesn't feel like I am. It feels like something I can be proud of.

(Forgive the rant. Had an unpleasant and frustrating phone call this morning with someone who would rather complain about his/her marriage than to anything -- and I do mean anything -- to make it better. This complaining has gone on for so long that I have finally realized that the complaining is the point of the call. And don't want to listen to it anymore.)