Blah

It's been a week. Trying to stay positive and upbeat, but finding it difficult. I'm blaming hormones because there's really nothing 'blah-worthy' going on. I was down .6lb at weigh in this week - totally did NOT deserve it - and I'm sorta/kinda taking the weekend off from watching what I eat.

Don't be worried. I had a cupcake and some gloriously cheesy mexican food, that's about it. It's not like I've dived into a vat of melted caramel and chocolate sprinkles. In fact, I've had salad twice. See, I can't even have a cheat weekend without glumping it up.

Sigh. Plenty of whining below the cut.



Don't wanna exercise - but I make myself do it, mostly because I don't want to back slip on the fitness thing and have to work my butt off to get back here.
Don't want to do housework - but I make myself do it, mostly because everyone else needs me to do that, at least.
Don't wanna track, don't wanna write, don't wanna do anything but nap or waste time on the computer. Haven't made myself not laze off in those areas yet. Sigh. I was chasing Little Miss around a lot, but she's off to DM now so I can't use her as an excuse.

Have a stye on my right eyelid. Doesn't bother me, but everyone else keeps informing me of it, so it must bother them. If it's not gone by next week, I'll have my doc look at it. I also keep getting blemishes near my mouth and in my eyebrows. What, am I going through puberty again?!?

I am terrified of both selling the book, and not selling the book. Some days I don't know if it'd be a relief to get back to work with the writing being a job again, or if it'd be a relief to be told my stuff is simply too craptastic to sell anymore. But, then again, SPORE is a very kick ass book, and Morgan is too, and it's totally out of my hands either way. ARRGH!!

I haven't written a thing on SLIPPAGE past the opening scene or so. I'm just not feeling it, at all. I don't usually start book avoidance in chapter one. Close family and friends believe it's because the first and only rejection for SPORE really hit me hard - it wasn't particularly nice. Pretty much every rejection I've received for a finished novel has been either a bland, basically form rejection or exceptionally nice. This one... not so much. So, yeah, that's surely part of it, but I'd stalled on SLIPPAGE before it came.

I'm terrified to both win and lose the city council election a week from Tuesday. I don't really enjoy the job, but someone with common sense has to do it. GAH!! There are four of us (sort of three) for two seats (also sort of three). Four people filled out the paperwork for the two open 4-year seats, me and three others. The person who took out paperwork for the 2-year seat didn't turn it in, so there's officially no one running for that seat, but one of us four said she'd be a write in, only people actually have to Write Her In (let alone follow the correct 'have to fill in the correct bubble to make it count' procedure), and who's going to know to do that?!?  Some days it's really interesting on the council, but others I wonder why anyone chooses a career in politics. In some ways I'm too nice, in others I'm too principled. Neither type works well, even in making decisions for a little town. I can't imagine how anyone keeps their soul in a larger, more influential, office.

The class is going all right, but there's so much to cover in such a short time, I don't feel like I'm giving much actually useful information. The students seem to really be enjoying it, tho.

Haven't sewn anything other than my monthly block of the month class, which I just had this past Friday. Not a thing. I'm sending roughly 1/10 of my sewing stuff to a friend who's happy to take my overflow. I need to add more to her stack because I still have too much and no space to keep it in. A gal in my sewing class wants me to make pine needle baskets with her. I'd like to, but weekday daytime is tough to wrangle (re: chasing Little Miss) and I really don't need one more hobby. It'd be nice to get some quilts done by Christmas, tho, including the quilts I have for you guys. That I'm not finishing even tho they're almost done. Or the quilts for my weight watchers leaders. Or anyone else.

I've been more or less stuck at 43lbs down since mid June, mostly because I'm scared to go further and sabotage myself. I'll eat late. Or eat bread. Or whatever. Not liking this strange face I see in the mirror. Not liking these bony bumps I keep finding. Not liking people noticing me. I tried to explain this to my leader yesterday, and ended up bawling as she kept insisting I deserved to be healthy and thin and happy and all that stuff.

And with that I'm about to start crying again.

I hope you all have a good week. All I'm looking into is more of the same. Waiting to hear about SPORE, not writing SLIPPAGE, chasing my granddaughter, tracking my food and exercise (mostly) and not really getting much of anything done.

I hope all of us have a good upcoming week. I sure need one. {{hugs}}