I don't know quite what to make of this, but I know this is a safe place and if nothing else I can get virtual hugs here. If I put it on Facebook or my blog, I might get some insight, but I'll worry people. It's not that there is anything wrong specifically. I'm just blah in the extreme. I feel like a length of gray wool. Serviceable, coordinates with anything, but not fun. Some days I'm tweed, on a good day I can manage a houndstooth, but it's still all gray wool. I'm having a hard time mustering the energy to do anything, even fun stuff. My loom came in the mail yesterday, and I played with it a little last night, but I haven't touched it today. My spinning wheel should be here today and I don't really care that it's late, even though I looked forward to getting it when I ordered it. I want to nap, even when I sleep ten hours a night.
I don't want you guys to worry. I'm not anywhere close to hurting myself or someone else. I have an appointment Tuesday with my doctor to see about getting my ADD meds adjusted or changed, and hopefully that will help. Eric has noticed and probably would have made the appointment for me if I hadn't. I think he's more concerned than he's letting on; he keeps asking if I'm all right, and what else can I say except I'm tired and fresh out of give a crap? I think the thing that worries me a little is that this could be the new normal. I don't know how to face the next 30+ years as gray wool. Maybe I need a spiritual retreat, or an aggressive exercise regimen. Maybe I just need a good cry. What I want is to figure it out so I can get back to be my usual funky self.
12 comments:
First, hugs. Second, good for you for recognizing there's a problem and eating an appointment with the doctor. Go ahead and indulge in a good cry -- it's surprising how good you can feel afterward. Make take a couple walks around the neighborhood.
On the brighter side, I don't believe you'll need to endure gray wool for the next 30+ years. Keep us up to date. We care.
Me too. {{{huggs}}}
Thanks y'all, I knew I could count on you.
Oh, yeah. I put in a priority order for the bulk size of "Give A Crap" at Amazon and had a box shipped to each of you -- Stephen, too. You never know when it will come in handy.
Or maybe this is your problem? http://www.amazon.com/Constipated-People-Dont-Give-Crap/dp/B000HLFWAK/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1298000854&sr=8-7
There's always this Plot Bunny Magnet: http://www.amazon.com/Happy-Bunny-Decided-Magnet-BM3039/dp/B002GOZMNI/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&qid=1298000854&sr=8-9
Ok. Ok. This is the last one. I promise. Please note it's in that comforting shade of gray you find so attractive: http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Give-Funny-T-Shirt-CafePress/dp/B004GYP5D8/ref=sr_1_15?ie=UTF8&qid=1298000854&sr=8-15
Wendy, I'm sorry I couldn't respond until now. I read your post on my Nook, but it's practically impossible to type on 'cause it's got tiny screen keys and I got big fingers. But you have been on my mind as I wandered around today.
When I was younger, I had plenty of advice, but now I don't think I know very much. Certainly not enough to tell anyone how to change their life for the better, particularly since I seem to be unable to do in my own life.
The only thing I can offer is my support and my belief in you and your talent and your own ability to change your color scheme. And it sounds like you're taking intelligent steps to help you.
I still have those cards you sent me. They're up on the bulletin board by my desk. My favorite of the ones you sent is this one: "When I said, 'My foot is slipping,' Your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought joy to my soul." Psalm 94:18-19. That verse has brought me a lot of comfort after these past few months when everything has fallen apart around me -- and you, an almost complete stranger -- sent those cards to me when I needed them most. Amazing.
Jean! Heh heh.
Wendy, I'd been meaning to congratulate you on getting your turkey back on 750words. Good job!
Wow, I knew I came to the right place. You guys rock. I might make houndstooth today.
Stephen, thanks for reminding me about the cards. I'd put them in a desk drawer because they kept getting in the way on my desk, but I'm going to put them up where I can see them. I had nothing to do with the timing. That was all God.
Jean, you're a mess.
And Tammy, you're a great {{hugger}}.
Thanks, Wendy! {{huggs}}
And, Jean, I REALLY don't think constipation is my problem. Plenty of fiber going through the pipes here. ;)
Frankly, I didn't think it was ANYONE's problem. I was trying to cheer Wendy - and everyone else up.
Houndstooth? OK. It's regular. It has contrast. It's a start. It adds variety to shades of gray and black.
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