It's late. Or early depending on how you look at it. I'm about to go to bed, but I was reminded a few minutes ago by an on-line acquaintance about the importance of having supportive people in your life. This particular on-line acquaintance is a great critic in an writing circle I participate in. In fact, he can point out all the shortcomings of your latest novel. Or of any published novel. He knows all, he shares all, he tears down all.
This is not to say he's wrong. He often is right. But he is unable to be right and still support a person's dream. He's only capable of finding faults. Every compliment has a "but" attached. "Your plot moves fast, but your characters aren't real." "The setting is realistic, but you put too much detail and not enough action." "Your plot doesn't make any sense, but I like the way your characters talk." Every criticism is delivered with an authority that Moses would envy.
He's never read any of my work, and I don't intend for him to do so. I've watched him criticize people out of writing. In fact, that's what happened a few minutes ago. He delivered his clever, funny, no-holds-barred critique of another writer's romance novel. Everyone jumped on the band wagon; some were quite gentle, but wolves at a feast nonetheless. She abruptly left the group.
Since I know her, I got in touch, and what I feared would happen, happened. She had decided to give up. Of course, I gave her a pep talk -- that's what I do, God help me -- but his words had taken the wind out of her sails and sank the boat as well.
Of course, it's easy to say that she didn't have what it takes to be a writer. Maybe so. We have to able to take a lot of abuse. My training is mostly from the various newspapers I worked at, and I got used to abrupt editors. We were always under a deadline, and sometimes -- and this is wrong, I realized years later -- there wasn't time to be polite. Anyway, I developed a thicker skin than most. I also have a lot of faith in me. So I survive drubbings intact for the most part.
Here's the thing: Supportive can be more important than critical. It's almost much rarer. You can find critical people everywhere, but finding supportive people is much harder.
What I find most interesting is that he hasn't ever written a book. Oh, he talks about one all the time, but he tears it apart as soon as he writes. In his quest for perfection, he never completes anything. Or maybe that's just his excuse. Maybe he lacks the strength to stick it out, to put your words out to a hostile -- or worse -- indifferent world. Takes a lot of faith to do that.
Maybe he lacks faith. Maybe she does, too. I don't know.
I do know that dreams are fragile. They need faith and nourishment at first. They can be stronger than the greatest armies, but they need time to grow.
Some people, though, pull up the tender shoots with the weeds. And that's simply and totally wrong.
7 comments:
I agree with what you're saying. I have spent considerable time trying to figure out how to deal with that type of critiquer -- not because I have had anyone critique my writing that way, but my husband has a tendency to be more like that than not. He will deny it if confronted about it, and he'll take great offense that his effort to help is not appreciated. I suspect your acquaintance would do the same.
Sometimes, it's best to say, "Thank you" and move along -- taking any possible value or discarding everything if it's too harsh. If possible, it's best to choose the route you've chosen -- not present your material for that person's commentary.
It sounds like your acquaintance needs to show his knowledge and competence but does not realize his presentation detracts from his effectiveness. Unfortunately, even if he's trying to be sensitive, he'd probably make some statement intending to be helpful that blows a fragile ego right out of the water.
Some of that is the fragile ego's fault. I can think of an experience I'd prefer not to relate the details of right here that was exactly like that. I had a system that was working in helping me achieve a goal. I was having good success with it. Someone I value and respect made a comment, entirely innocently and intending to be helpful and supportive, that was anything but to me. In hindsight, I let that comment derail me. I shouldn't have, but I've completely and totally failed in achieving that goal since then.
Yes, dreams are fragile, but we're ultimately responsible for not letting someone else steal them. Fundamentally, we have to protect, cultivate, and nurture them. We have to shield them from the reckless weeder. Until we learn to do that, we'll let them get stolen and trampled. (I'm speaking as much to myself as anyone else here.)
"We have to shield them from the reckless weeder." Exactly.
I'm also wondering if maybe we make a mistake when we show our novels to people before they're completed. I know people who do that -- show each chapter to their critique circle -- and, as I considered them, I realized not a single one of them have finished their books. Perhaps there is a certain momentum in a first draft that is required to reach the end.
Or maybe we just leave in society where pulling down is easier than building. It takes months/years to construct a skyscraper, but only minutes for some bastard to reduce it to rubble.
That's a sound observation, I think, regarding people showing others their novels before they are finished. Generally speaking, I suspect it's wise to have a complete product before sharing.
An editor or agent can easily decide in the first chapter if they want to see more, but all they have to say is, "Not right for me." When asking someone to critique the work, you run the risk of getting inaccurate feedback on a work in progress -- especially if you don't have the experience of several completed works to discern useful comments from those that need to be discarded for various reasons.
I'll be interested to hear how Tammy's opinion and experience relates to yours.
Uh oh.
For me - likely in the minority - I write 3 to 5 chapters, until I think I've hit the beginning, then I ask for a few opinions. I ask 'does this work for an opening? would you keep reading?' that kinda thing, because, frankly, I am by FAR my own worst critic, and I have no idea what works and what doesn't. I'd much rather know if it's a clunker early on, before I've spent months of blood, sweat and tears crafting a whole novel. I will happily toss opening chapters. More than ten or so, I tend to try to save them, which can be futile if the beginning sucks.
After a few comments on the opening, I write mostly alone until the first draft's done. I know from experience that I need to get my vision down before letting others see it. If I show too much too early, I'll likely make changes to suit others and lose my way. Not because they're wrong, but because I doubt myself and how can I expect them to know what's in my head if I haven't written it yet?
Once the first draft's finished - and I've had a chance to clean up everything I can see, which usually isn't much since I'm blind to my mistakes; I know they exist, I just can't see them - it's off to my pre-readers with express instructions to be MEAN and PICKY. I don't care what's right beyond a quick 'this works' because the good parts will take care of themselves. I do not want to hear I'm brilliant, amazing, talented or any of that crap. Frankly, it'll screw me up worse than most anything else. I want to know what I need to fix, what's broken, stumbling, falling, or flat. That's what I want from a crit.
Comments come back that, often, would be considered harsh by most people, and, sure, sometimes they sting - especially about darlings - but, ya know, they're usually right. Not always, but I average about 85% agreement with even the harshest 'this sucks because' comments. I have enough self-confidence as a writer to not change things if I disagree with the commenter - one of my pre-readers loves simile and metaphor. I don't so I never add that crap in - but if several comments are this part reads really slow or that character is hard to like, you bet I pay attention.
I'll mark up the whole manuscript and whine and mope and realize that, contrary to the 'omg Tam! You're so GREAT!' fans that drive me crazy, I really do have a lot of room to improve. I should do better, be better, blah blah blah. After a couple of days, I'll buckle down and fix it. It often entails a LOT of work, much more than a few line edits, and that's okay. It's part of writing for publication.
For example, in M, I'm in the process of changing M's job, her race, her approach to people, her relationship with her dead friend, both neighbors, the cops, her mother, her house, its contents, some of her memories, and all of the protag/antag tangle after mid book. The only things not altered are the love interest, her fitness regimen, and her dog. Seriously. It's approximately a 40% re-write (as in apx 40% new and totally reworked words) and about a 25% structural change to the novel. I'm happy with that because it's making the book TONS better, tighter, and an easier sell.
Fwiw, none of my pre-readers, even those I adore for their super harshness, have EVER been as nasty as reviews when I've dropped the narrative ball. I'd much rather fix it now, before it's off to my agent and future editor, than face an onslaught of upset readers and one-star reviews.
I think the problem lies when writers aren't ready to hear the naked truth, assuming it is the truth. Opinions are only that - opinions. You can either agree, or not, and move on from there. It's not realistic to expect another person to protect a fragile writer ego, it's up to the writer to buck up and do the damned job.
I disagree, Tammy, on a couple of points. Of course, I do teach -- or try to teach -- beginning poetry at my local community college so I'm perhaps more conscious about how easy it is for a cruel comment to end a person's attempt to stretch their creative wings. I think it's very realistic for a person to temper their comments with compassion.
Admittedly, as a person progresses, they're supposed to grow a pair. But when someone is beginning -- which is what I was referring to and did not make clear -- they need support. The person I was talking about is unable to see that all he does is harm other writers.
When I start the critiques in my poetry class, I always remind the participants to remember what my coach used to say about opinions (paraphrased, of course): Opinions are like armpits; everyone has a couple and they usually stink. :)
I've never taken a writing class, but I do have an art degree, and when we had 'critique day' - even as new freshmen - we were expected to wear our big artist undies and listen and learn. We were also expected to be honest and precise in the critiques, specifically pointing our comments toward what was good, what was bad, and what was 'meh'. Personal attacks were not permitted - such as 'your stuff sucks, dude, you can't draw worth a shit!' - we were to focus instead on the product put before us. What works, what doesn't, and what can be done to make it better do the job it was created to do.
Perhaps that's part of our disparity of opinion. To me, it's work, a product. No more, no less, and it's always been that way to me.
I'm not sure I understand what you mean by: "To me, it's work, a product." Explain?
I took both art and writing classes in college. I learned -- what Jean pointed out -- that some people had good opinions that help and others have opinions that don't. Some people are simply nuts, and some are simply mean.
I've read comments people have made when they've attacked Holly Lisle or Sheila Viehl. Many hide behind a mask of constructive criticism. Maybe they even believe it. I do know that Holly certainly knows when she thinks they've crossed the line into destructive. She's not shy about letting them know. I greatly admire that about her.
But I don't think beginning writers can recognize those snakes that grow only by devouring other people. As the instructor, it's my place to protect them until they can defend themselves. Until they can develop the judgment to disregard that which does not help achieve their creative satisfaction.
However, I certainly recognize the validity of your stance and wish more artistic people had your steel. It would make my classes less stressful and probably more entertaining.
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