We went to Bill's dad's today for BBQ and family. Was nice, especially my lengthy conversation w/ Bill's brother.
Things are still, obviously, things. Some good, some bad, most very stressful. I'm back to baby-stepping into the WeightWatchers plan (last week - ending yesterday - I resumed tracking, regardless of what I ate I logged it and lost 2.4lbs. This week I'm calculating all points and planning what I can (except for today because... driving, barbeque, family stress, general chaos, etc...), next week, I'm not sure yet. And writing daily (reached the end of the opening in Stain) and babysitting quite a lot since The Daughter has a new BF and two jobs and so forth. Plus the medical things - still awaiting the official decision on the mutinous cyst, for example - and the publishy things (no new declinations for either book, but a friend did offer to handle all the 'BS' of self publishing SPORE for me since I'm so BS resistant, and Endorphins in Blackbirds plus SID in an upcoming new writing/art/music webhub thing, so lots going on there). Plus politics, mostly because Bill's a conservative and I'm a socially-welcoming fiscally-conservative 'let's all just mind our own bidness' libertarian leaning moderate and crap, I am SO SICK of the political discussions in the freaking car, then the HobbyLobby verdict SEVERLY ticked me off (Corporations are not people, they're specifically created to SEPARATE their human owners from personal legal/financial responsibility of lawsuits etc against said corporation so the ruling just makes me twitch on so many levels) but our opposing positions just make car conversations even worse so I've been crying over some nasty facet of poly-ticks every day (my current solution: Remove All Incumbents until sanity resumes, preferably by tar and feathering). Then something, somewhere is pollinating because I'm stuffed full of snot, and the gnats and skeeters are terrible so being outside w/ LittleMiss is its own unique torture. Someone (not me) had the bright idea of letting LittleMiss play in my new sewing machine's packing box, then sat there and watched her peel off bits and strips of cardboard and brown paper bits, and they're everywhere, still. It's like they're breeding, even tho we took the box to recycling days ago. Plus I put myself in therapy because I've hit my limit of self loathing this century, but it's digging up some stuff I really don't want to look at, which makes more weeping... She specializes in trauma recovery, which is exactly what I need, but it's gonna be a tough slog.
So. Anyway. I'm crying quite a lot. Plus I'm full of snot and have gobs of mosquito bites and I'm exhausted and pretty much every single thing in poly-ticks SUCK when you're a centrist.
That's all I can manage. {{hugs}} and have a great week.
3 comments:
I'm not much of a hugger--close contact often makes me itch--but I sure wish I could give you a huge supportive hug, Tammy. :( You're in my daily prayers.
By the way, I've been showing this stub of "Blackbirds" to a few friends, and they are blown away by "Endorphins." Stacey wants me to tell you that she always knew that whole "endorphins make exercise easier" was a sham. :)
Hang in there.
Thanks, Stephen. {{hugs}}
Good for you for your WW decision! You can do it. Hugs for the crying and working through the tough, icky stuff. It's a tough slog through the muck, but it will be better for you once you have understanding and coping mechanisms figured out.
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