I think it's important at this point to say that I'm a lazy slob. Although I seem to be busy all the time, when I go to list my activities, apparently I am a lazy slob. Particularly in writing and publishing. Which are supposedly my favorite activities. Instead I spend most of my time on chores, housework, yard work, errands, phone calls, worrying, watching TV, listening to music, reading other people's books, going to the library, watering my flowers outdoors, watering my plants indoors, laundry, testing my blood sugar, etc., etc., etc.
This is not to say that I don't have times when writing is the most important thing to me. Unfortunately, those times are in the minority. And often happen at two in the morning or when I am at some activity that's utterly bores me. But let me sit down at the keyboard and all inspiration vanishes just like a Republican’s heart or a Democrat’s morality. (I've decided to be an equal opportunity political party offender. If I haven't offended you yet, please understand that I will get to you as soon as I can.)
I've always been baffled that my lack the commitment to writing when it's been the only constant thing in my life (besides God and the church) since I was a child. I've often wondered if I'm more in love with the ideal of having written than writing itself. Or it could be that I'm a lazy slob. I'm leaning towards a lazy slob answer myself because it's probably more true than I would like, has lots of evidence to support it, and it's an easy answer, which appeals to the lazy slob side of me.
I'm so lazy I'm not even typing this right now. I'm using Dragon NaturallySpeaking, which is a voice dictation program. (I purchased Dragon NaturallySpeaking because I was worried about my ability to type if the arthritis in my hands worsens… And because I'm a lazy slob.) So when I talk about slaving over the keyboard, I'm really talking about talking over the keyboard.
It's a relief to finally tell you all that I'm a lazy slob. No more pretending about being productive or using my time wisely. I need to get me a bag of pork rinds and turn on some world championship wrestling, and I will finally be content.
Are you content? Are you a lazy slob? Let me know, but don't wake me up. I'm having a productive urge so I'm going to go back to bed until it passes.
3 comments:
I know that you use jokes as a coping mechanism. (You might regret letting that slip.) I smiled and nodded when I read this and can so totally relate, but you are NOT a lazy slob. Did that come through clear enough? Not. NOT. NOT! A LAZY SLOB! It's Resistance, my friend. You have to work past it. Trust me on this because I fight the same battle.
I'm going to ask you one question, and feel free not to answer it publicly, but do answer it for yourself after giving it thought and prayerful consideration: Do you feel you have been called by God to minister through writing?
If this is your calling, then there is a reason for the Resistance, and he has a name. I think you know what that is. God has a plan for your life, but so does the enemy. Whose plan do you want to fulfill?
Having said that, no, I'm not content. I have a long, long way to go. I am not a lazy slob; I used to think I was, and it's taken a long time to get past that non-productive self-condemnation. I am a world-class Olympic procrastinator. I put off putting things off. I blame the genes I got from my grandpa, but blame doesn't solve the problem.
Stephen, I think we all just may fit into the World-Class Olympic Procrastinator category. (Why aren't we at the training site, and just where is that darn place anyway? I'll get around to looking it up someday.) So, nope. No Lazy Slob award for you. Nope. Nope. Nope. No can do.
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