December 31 tambometrics and look-ahead

First, I'd like to thank God for getting us through this incredibly stressful and problematic year.

It has been a journey, that's for sure!

Second, I'd like to apologize for the long, rambling, likely incoherent flavor of this post. It's one of those 'trying to cram a 56lb pissed off bobcat into a ziplock sandwich bag' issues, but I'll do my best.

The ramble's below the cut.


So, so much has happened this year, for all of us, and I certainly have not been the exception. Here's my final metrics list.


Writing

M went out the door in March after spending a few nervous end-of-winter weeks keying in line edits (quite a few) and story changes (not that many) from my pre readers (Thank you again, Jean!!). I was terrified of jumping back into the publication arena, and I still struggle with many of the scars from my earlier battles, but I sucked it up and got the job done. I'd warned my agent that a book was coming, a weird women's fic/psychological/mystery/thriller/squirrely thing, but he said that was fine. He read it over a weekend and deemed it a tour de force, among other wondrous comments, and M went out seeking publication without needing a single agent-specified change. I cannot, still, remember being as pleased about any of the Dubric books, or reactions to them, as I've been for M. It has not yet sold (I believe it's up to 10 official declinations) but, considering the overwhelming positive feedback, I'm still hopeful.

Dented, not as positive of a sale, and rather concerned some days, yet hopeful. If that makes sense. It's a good book, I know that. Oh, it's never going to become a classic, and I doubt many people will pull it off their shelves years later to read it again, but it would surely make a good beach read, or while soaking on a long hot bath, or to make waiting at an airport more enjoyable. A nice, tight, quirky story. I really do like the book and hope it'll find a good home soon.

I'd already e-published three short stories through Smashwords, but fans asked for Kindle versions so I muddled through getting them on Amazon. Which was not fun. I know some people just convert files like most of us put on socks, but it was an ordeal for me. That said, the Kindle versions have out-sold all other formats combined by about 4 to 1, at a guess (because, frankly, I'm too lazy to pull up my accounting files right now and double check) but  it's by a LOT. And by a lot I mean my sales total about 3 a month from everywhere but Amazon (most from B&N), while Amazon sells 12-15 per month, combined titles. One month, they sold that many in a single week. The royalty rate is less, but they're making it up in volume.

Every cent I've made from the ebook shorts has gone to charity. I've sent checks to a battered women's shelter, a food bank, a literacy program for kids, and, after I get my year-end royalties, I'll send a check to a burn unit. The checks aren't huge (most have been around $30) but every little bit helps. I hope. Next year, I'm picking a single charity just to make my life easier, Project Night Night. I like what they do, and they seem to be good at doing it. I might send them some quilts, too.

And then we have Dubric.

I have been fighting with Stain of Corruption since my brain broke in 2005. Six, going on seven dang years. I should be able to write a novel in 6 weeks, not 6 years. I honestly don't know why this book is such a slog. There's no reason for it. I know what needs to happen, why, to whom, and how. So what's the problem? 

Me, that's what.

I spent this past year poking it with a stick, and it still won't get up and move. I've started from scratch. I've reworked scenes. Totally revamped the structure. I've tried outlining, free writing, keying in themes and keywords and labels into Scrivener, and threatening to throw my laptop in the trash. And it still sits here, glaring at me, daring me to really, truly get the guts to set Faldorrah on fire.

I know this book, dammit! And whenever I describe it to people in all its twisted detail, their eyes light up and it sounds so freaking fabulous, even to me. Heck, half the dang castle explodes. Major characters die, or are maimed, or are so damaged and traumatized they're no longer in the cast. It's freaking BRUTAL, betrayal and madness and double-crossing and faltering and digging out of real and psychological rubble. It may become the best book of the series, the huge, twisted pivot-point to shoot the story arc into another direction. It will totally rock.

Yet my brain refuses to do it and it aggravates the heck out of me.

I have no other stories in my mental 'queue' so I sit. And stare. And try some other mode of attack. Like poking it with tongs instead of a stick. While Stain props its sooty feet on my mental couch, watches Sponge Bob, and refuses to let go of the remote.

No wonder writers drink. Sigh.

Sewing

I have sewn I don't know how many quilts and things this year. At least four baby quilts - that I can remember off the top of my head. Several wall hangings. Bags. Table runners. Spit rags. A kid's super-hero cape. One bed sized quilt.

And this is a year of very little sewing, since my fabric was all packed away from April - November, but I still got quite a lot done. 

Life

Oh boy, where to start, what to say. There's been the postal mess, the house mess, the mess surrounding our daughter, sick pets, botched surgeries, quilt-guild drama, my eye issues and a blown tranny on the truck. Malaysia got killed (it's been 5 months and I'm still grieving). That was hard. IS hard. But the year hasn't been all bad. We became grandparents,  my sister and I shook out some old baggage and sent it packing, and Bill started making steampunk lights.

I have a great family, a great marriage, and a great life, despite the craziness of this past year. I'm just glad the calendar is turning a page. Not going to miss the constant mess of 2011, that's for sure.

House

About two days after ripping out the bathtub to begin a leisurely bathroom remodel and upgrade, Bill got the news about his post office closing. So it's been a year of craziness for the house, too. We finished the bathroom, updated some appliances, polished the landscaping, dragged almost everything we owned to storage, and put the house on the market at less than what our Realtor suggested. Less!! Motivated Seller doesn't begin to describe our desperation. After a grand total of three showings - the market here's so awful but she wouldn't lower the price any more - we finally decided to refinance with a standard loan (we'd been on a fast-payoff schedule) and lower rate so we can actually afford to make the house payment should Bill's job evaporate.

With all of our stuff back and another person in the house, it seems really cluttered (I'd loved the stripped-down lack of clutter lifestyle from when it was on the market) and pet hair, especially from the dog, has become the bane of my existence. It seems some days that all I do is sweep up hair or pick up poofs.

And they're not Puufy's because him is not gray/black. Him is lellow. The poofs is not hims fault. It's the dog. And Cooper. Him's sure of it.

Health

I've lost about 22lbs by increasing my water intake, cutting out all pop/soda (even diet) and limiting refined carbs. I need to do a better job at limiting those carbs, especially bread and pasta. I haven't exercised hardly at all for about a month and I'm really feeling it. 

I passed inspection on all fronts at my annual physical, but some of my numbers were right at or just below the infamous 'line' so I must make improvements for next year's check up. 

I have started noticing that I have knees. And ankles. Especially when I've been on the couch too long. Walking helps loosen them up again, a LOT. Especially if I take a circle around town with Bill. I love walking with Bill.

I bit the bullet this past summer and braved another visit to a dermatologist about my Rosacea. I have had little luck in the past since I am allergic to tetracyclines, but this new gal listened and genuinely tried to help. She had me try some new stuff, and it has done wonders for my complexion and, frankly, my self-loathing. My face no longer hurts, which is amazing all by itself, but it's also no longer red, flaky, and bumpy. Still some redness, but it's worlds better than it was. If only the medicine wasn't so expensive. One tube costs about the same, after insurance, as I spend for 2 weeks worth of groceries, and I have a hard time justifying spending so much on my appearance. But the Rosacea was impacting my eyes and vision, so it kind of is a necessity. At least I keep telling myself that. 

Since I'd mentioned my vision, my one big medical scare of the year involved my right eye. Part of the normal aging process turned scary when a blood vessel broke at my retina and flooded my right eye with blood. I temporarily lost about 1/3 of the vision in that eye but, other than a couple of lingering floaters, it's all clear again. Yay!!

Fwiw, my Rosacea prescription is the only medication I'm on, other than vitamins and the occasional OTC sinus med, so, despite being overweight and 47, I think that's pretty darn good. :)

Everything Else

Gak, I've blabbered enough. :) It's been a tough, trying year, but nothing too awful happened, and we're all just fine. :) Nothing else matters.

Plans for the coming year:

Writing

Reestablish the 'write after supper until bedtime' routine that got me through the Dubric novels.

Finish a coherent draft of Stain of Corruption. Somehow. Holes are okay. Clunky scenes are okay. Total crap-on-a-stick is okay. Just get a begin-through-the-middle-to-the-end full draft done.

Write one other novel. Any topic, any genre, any length, that's publication worthy and get it to my agent.

Blog at least once a week on tambowrites. About anything. Just *something*.

Read one full novel - any genre - per month. Yes, this is doable. Three books a year is no longer adequate.

Sewing

One bed quilt, perhaps for my mother

Outfits for the baby

Other projects as needed, but sew at least one sewing day a week. Even if it's just repairing a shirt. This is necessary for my mental health.

Use up 25% of my stash and curtail new fabric purchases until  the stash is manageable. Background and quilt-backing fabrics are exempt from this limitation, since I go through them so quickly.

Endure the quilt retreat without freaking out.

Maintain a semblance of order in my sewing room by tidying up after every project. Also necessary for my mental health.

Life

Spend quality time alone with Bill outside of the house at least once a week. Free Pie Day at Village in is great, but looking at plumbing bits at Menards is fine too. Something. Keep our marriage alive and fun.

Spend some time outside, at least twice a week. Yes, Tammy, even if it's sunny.

House

Water the plants. Weekly. At least. They deserve it.

Get back on the Flylady bandwagon in some fashion, especially the Flight Plan. After all, Perfectionism is Shelved in 2012!!

Clear out the boxes stacked in the front closet.

Maintain or improve current state of tidiness.

Health

Lose another 20 lbs. That's less than 2lbs a month. Totally doable.

Get bloodwork numbers below the line.

Make a point to exercise 3 - 4x a week, even for just 5 min.

More fresh stuff, less processed. Severely limit drive through food, or at least choose salads, and no more than once a week.

Everything Else

Stay positive, stay happy, and do things that I want to do, not what everyone says I must do.

Don't take on more responsibilities than can be reasonably managed. 

Breathe.

Let go of anger. Which, as Yoda tells us, leads to hate, leads to suffering. And I need to stop doing those things to myself.

I'll start using Wendy's great new format next week. :)

Have a happy new year, everyone! It's been great hanging with you in 2011!!  {{huggs}}