Neighbor Update

Crazy neighbor update:  As I was loading the truck to head to San Antonio yesterday, I saw the nursing home administrator drive by.  A few minutes later, he pulled into the driveway shaking his head.  I smiled and laughed, thinking, "It doesn't take long for him to get to you, does it."  Then he told me the neighbor was now at home.  He'd tried to walk across the street to the convenience store that morning, and he'd just spent two hours trying to talk him out of checking himself out.  Since he'd checked himself in; he could check himself out.  The administrator had arranged for the local home health company to come by.  And he said he wanted to get him some psychiatric evaluation.  I told him, by police standards, he's mentally sound.  The admin said, "He's not."  I said all the neighbors could have told you that. I told him I was heading for SA for the week, and he said, "Get out of town.  Fast!"  I laughed and thanked him for the update.

Before leaving, I decided to bring the neighbor the paper from that morning -- it was the Sunday NY Times, so it would have plenty of good reading, and I figured he'd want it.  There was also one piece of mail from Saturday that I didn't want to be stuck with, so I braved the walk over and knocked on his door.  He said it was open. 

The man has no furniture in his home.  He has an inflatable mattress on the floor in the living room, which I cannot figure out how he got into and out of before the operation with a bad hip, because with my knees (and creeping hip problems), I will do almost anything to not have to get down on the floor -- it just hurts too much getting up and down.  He has three or four wooden bar stools -- one holds a lamp, one looks like it's for sitting on, and the other looks like it's holding an inexpensive TV or portable TV player/display (smaller than a laptop in size).  I think there's another stool in the garage he uses when he's doing some gardening in the driveway.  The neighbor admitted he'd made a mistake not to arrange for a bed before going in for surgery.  I hope he'll be able to get a hospital bed from the home health people.  He couldn't get up from the mattress, but all he wanted me to do was find his cane, which I found on a pile of stuff in his dining room area (about 8 feet away).  (I'm confident he could afford furniture if he wanted it, so he chooses to live in extreme frugality. I don't understand it, but as far as I can tell, from a legal perspective, he's mentally sound.  From a social perspective, he's a mess. And he's made some choices that are not in his own best interest.)

While we were talking, I encouraged him to still get his physical therapy, and he said he was thinking about putting it off -- he had an ankle that was bothering him.  He was also saying he didn't think he'd recommend the hip replacement for other people.  I encouraged him to give it a month -- and to do his therapy or he wouldn't be as happy with his results.  I also encouraged him not to delay his therapy, because it would reduce the effectiveness of the surgery.

I thought he might be listening (at least he was responding as if he was considering following my suggestions), then the nursing home admin returned with a medication he'd found that our neighbor would need.  They got a little confrontational -- as is the admin got directive (or as we used to say in the 80s in the AF, he got S1 all over him), and I could see my neighbor closing off and becoming petulant and resistive.  

Wendy, he talked to his doctor about living alone, but the nursing staff conducted the pre-surgery class.  My neighbor is NOT a good listener.  I don't believe he talked to the nursing staff about living alone.  He appeared to fixate on the catheterization process in preparation for the surgery and the immediate time afterward, seeming to think he would be tied to his bed by it.  He didn't seem to understand that they wouldn't want him cathed any longer than he would want to be, but it was medically necessary.  He tends to fixate on things long after it's productive to do so, and I think he missed a lot of other important things that were covered in the class.  I'd give hospital the benefit of the doubt and go with my neighbor didn't pursue or even catch some of the important things being said.